Winterfell's Masquerade
by Uchiha Evangeline
Summary: Jon never thought he would live to see Winterfell's Great Hall hosting a masquerade ball, while Faeleen was glad she could have a last chance to dissuade him into joining the Night's Watch. .:JonxOC:.
1. Winterfell's Masquerade

_****_I made this for the Fan-flashworks comunity at LJ. The challenge was "Masks".

Hope everyone enjoy this! Leave reviews and let me know what you thought of it! (:

Disclaimer: ASOIAF belongs to George Martin.

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_**Winterfell's Masquerade**_

Faeleen looked at herself in the mirror and was amazed with what she saw. Was that gorgeous woman looking at her really… her? She could barely believe it. Lady Catelyn had been extremely generous to give her that dress, one made by southern women's hands. It was made with a deep purple silk and it had a tight corset covered beautifully with Myr lace. The large stripes fell from her shoulders, leaving them almost bare. She couldn't even start to describe how much she loved it.

Faeleen Snow never had one single word of complaining about Lady Catelyn Stark. As the illegitimate daughter of Brandon Stark, Lady Catelyn had decided she had absolutely nothing against her – a blessing the old gods didn't seem to think Jon Snow deserved.

Finishing the final touches on her hair, Faeleen hid herself behind the purple silky mask. She was glad the ball would be a masquerade, since it would give her what she so desperately needed – a last chance to dissuade Jon from joining the Night's Watch. Sighing heavily, she got up from the chair and marched outside.

* * *

Jon never thought he would live to see Winterfell's Great Hall hosting a masquerade ball. However, with half the royal court visiting his beloved city, he figured there was really no other way. He felt a bit silly wearing that mask, but couldn't complain. The protocol of the masquerade was quite clear when it established that any kind of identification was forbidden. For once, he could forget he was Ned Stark's bastard and just… be himself.

The music was already playing and drinks and food were being served. He could clearly recognize Robb and Sansa for their intense hair colour, but he was pretty sure he was safe. He never dressed in such fancy clothes, and his ordinary hair colour did the rest to cover his identity. He couldn't be happier. It felt like a small miracle that he could just enjoy himself for one night without being judged.

Relaxing as he never allowed himself to, he wandered through the ball, trying to recognize someone other than his brother and sister. The king and the queen were pretty obvious, since they were at the higher honour sit. So were his father and Lady Catelyn, sitting just beside the royal couple. Tyrion Lannister neither was a challenge, but Jon couldn't blame him for that. But his eyes and legs soon stopped wandering when the sight of a young lady caught all his attention.

He tried very hard, but could not decipher her true identity. He wasn't even sure whether she was a northern or a southern girl. The dress was undoubtedly southern, but the hair style was northern – half up and half down. He was mesmerized by her hair, and the way the down part was straight until it ended on perfectly shaped curls. He was also mesmerized by her purple dress and how it gently embraced her delicate body.

Jon even took the first steps that would lead him to her, but soon gave up. What would he say to her? Yes, he wanted to dance with her and try to discover who was she, but how would he be able to do that? Suddenly, he was again very aware of his social status. For all he knew, she could be one of the queen's maidens, and he was only a bastard…

But that ball was a masquerade, he shouldn't be worrying about that. If he didn't ask who she was, she couldn't do the same to him. Taking a deep breathe he resumed his approach.

He stopped right in front of her and bowed.

"Would you give me the honour of this dance?" he asked, standing his right hand to her.

He couldn't really see her face, for her mask was covering most of it, but his true disappointment was to notice the mask was also disguising her eyes, so he couldn't decipher which was their colour.

Blushing a little, the girl smiled.

"Yes, I would love to dance with you, my lord."

For once, he decided not to correct her. He could be "my lord" for one evening, since he wasn't anyone at the moment.

She took his hand and let him guide her to the centre of the hall, where other couples danced happily. They danced the first song without addressing any words to each other. None was needed, after all. As the musicians began the second song, the mysterious lady decided it was time to part her lips and talk a little bit.

"Are you leaving Winterfell in the morning too, my lord?"

"Yes. But I will be heading north, not south."

"North? But north from here there is only…"

"The Wall, yes. There is where I am headed to."

"The Wall… I heard the Night's Watch is always in need of valorous men, but I also heard is a hard place to live. No family, no women. I am sure it will be cold in more than the conventional way."

"My uncle is a man of the Watch, so I will have family there."

"Still, you will never meet love."

His smile was one sad and bitter.

"I wouldn't be able to give anything for a wife or a child. It is best for me to go north."

The girl smiled warmly to him.

"I'm sure that is not true, my lord. Every man has something to offer. If the woman is the right one."

Jon almost laughed at that.

"I am certain you would think otherwise if you knew who I am."

"Are you sure you are not breaking some girl's heart with such a decision? I cannot let myself believe an attractive man like you would have no admirers in a city with Winterfell's size."

This time, Jon allowed himself a chuckle.

"Once again, you certainly don't know who I am."

Closing the distance between them, she let her lips softly touch his.

"If that's so, at least allow me to show what you would be missing once you join the Night's Watch." She whispered in his right ear.

Jon felt a shiver run through his body. Who was her? For a minute he thought he recognized her voice, but now he wasn't so sure anymore.

"I don't think it is a good idea."

His uncle has said something with similar words to him, hadn't he? But he denied. Jon did not wish to put another child like him in the world. The fate of bastards was a burden too heavy for anyone to carry.

"Don't you think you own yourself this? One last night with a woman before swearing yourself to celibacy?"

By that time, she already had her body very close to his, letting him feel every curve and every part of her. It was getting harder for him to think clearly.

"I promise I won't tell anyone. How could I? I don't even know your name."

Before he could change his mind about that poor decision, he grabbed her by the hand and quickly led her to his room, carefully locking the door behind him. His lips were on hers in the second he heard the key's silent noise. He tried to untie her mask, but she didn't allow him.

"Let this be our secret."

He didn't feel inside himself an urge to complain, he was already too absorbed on her, on his lips on her mouth, her cheeks, her neck. His hands found the small buttons on the back of her dress and he carefully undid them, one by one while she unfastened the ties on his pants and shirt.

They fell onto bed together, too lost on the other to notice anything. Jon felt like he should know who she was, it seemed like every part of his body was screaming her name to him, however, they were screaming in a language that was strange to him, so he couldn't really identify it in the middle of everything he was feeling at the moment.

After he took his time exploring her body, he was ready to the next step. In a swift motion, she changed their positions, getting herself on top of him. She slid herself into him and Jon's eyes widened when he felt the barrier separating them. But as soon as he noticed it, it vanished. He saw a tear escape beneath her mask, but she didn't let him protest, sealing his lips with a kiss.

They were quick to find a rhythm, as if they had been doing that for years. Somehow, it was really how it felt. They should be together. Always. Forever. Their screams came together as them both found the most pleasure a man and a woman can find together. Once again, they fell together on bed, this time side by side. Jon wanted to say something to her, but the words just wouldn't form. Tired, he just let his eyes close as sleep took him over.

* * *

Faeleen watched as Jon quickly fell asleep beside her. She bit her lower lip nervously. What now? She had given it all to that plan, but now she didn't know what else should she do. Should she wake him up, tell him who she was? Or should she wait for him to awake on his own?

As she pondered what to do, Jon's eyes opened once again.

"You shouldn't have done that… Faeleen."

Looking at him, she untied her mask, letting it fall onto the mattress.

"When did you figured out it was me?"

"Just before I closed my eyes."

"You're mad." She whispered.

"No, I'm sad." He said, exasperated, running a hand through his messy hair. "Don't you see what you have done? Worse, what you made me do?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Please, you wanted it."

"Not if I knew it was you!"

Her grey eyes filled up with tears.

"Why? Am I not good enough for you?"

He held her roughly by the shoulders.

"For the gods, listen to your own words! I'm leaving in the morning, Faeleen! And who are you going to marry now? How can I live knowing I ruined your life?"

Not daring to meet his eyes, she whispered:

"Then, don't go." The tears rolled through her porcelain face. "I love you. Please, don't leave me."

Jon pulled her onto his arms, hugging her tightly. Those words hurt him deep inside, hitting his own heart.

"There is no future for us. I can't offer you anything. For a smaller lord, half a Stark is the best thing they could ever wish in a marriage."

"I don't need anything, Jon. I only want you."

Once again, her words hurt him. Only the gods knew how much he wanted her, especially after the night's events.

"I can't stay, Faeleen. What would I tell uncle Benjen? Worse of all, what would I tell Lady Catelyn Stark?"

"Let's run away."

Jon pondered it for a minute, but, in the end, just sighed.

"We can't do it. We have obligations, Faeleen, we cannot just give them up like that."

Faeleen couldn't remember feeling more pain than the one she was feeling now. Her heart broke into thousands of little pieces, scattering through her whole body and piercing her other organs intensively.

"Is that really your final decision, Jon?"

"It must be. We might not be Starks in the name, but we are in the blood. We can't dishonour our family."

With the dignity she had left, Faeleen rose from the bed, quickly dressed and ran away from his room. This was the last time Jon saw his beloved Faeleen.


	2. Memories Beyond The Wall

So, you guys got the best of me! Second chapter coming! It's simpler then the first one, but I hope you can enjoy nonetheless.

Reviews pleaseee!

Disclaimer: ASOIAF belongs to George Martin.

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_**Memories Beyond The Wall**_

Jon shuddered while facing the world that expected him beyond the Wall. Castle Black had little colour, but the wildling world was nothing but white. He couldn't remember anything more depressing than that.

No, that was a lie. He could remember something more depressing: the look on Faeleen's face when he told her he wasn't going to give up joining the Night's Watch. She tried not to cry while leaving his room, but when she was gone, he was sure she cried a river, because he had cried too, although he wouldn't admit it to anyone but her.

As he impelled his horse on, leading not only the animal, but also himself to the unknown world on the other side, he thought more and more of his Faeleen. He shouldn't have fallen to her seduction plan, but the truth was he wanted it as badly as her. He had always wanted her.

However, he was always very aware that he would never have her. As he had told her that last night, for a smaller lord, half a Stark was better than nothing – at least, if you were a bastard daughter. For a son, like him, though, there was no hope, no purpose. The Night's Watch was the only way for him, as was for his uncle Benjen, the younger child.

But the knowledge that Faeleen loved him back only made everything worst. Having a reason to stay, was hard convincing himself he had to go nonetheless. And now, he regretted his decision. The grey clouds on the sky appeared to be there only to remind him of the grey of her eyes, so alike his own.

"What's wrong with you today, Jon?" Sam asked him, startling him. Was he really that distracted to not even notice his friend approach? "I never saw you so… off."

"I'm sorry. I just… I have a bad feeling, that's all."

He felt Ghost's fur on his leg and the presence of his wolf felt really reassuring. He knew what he was going through, he was the only one that really knew, since he was the only one there who met Faeleen.

"Having bad dreams again?" Sam asked.

Sam, as one of the meistre's stewards, knew everything about Jon's needs of the meistre's medicines. Meistre Aemon had given him something for his nightmares quite often since he arrived at Castle Black.

"Haven't I always?" Jon retorted.

"Maybe you should just go see her, Jon."

Jon went still, his blood suddenly ice cold. What had Sam just said?

Seeing the apprehension on his friend's eyes, Sam opened a small gentle smile.

"You talk on your sleep, Jon. I had visited you a few times under Meistre Aemon's request, and I had heard some whispers coming from you."

Jon fought the warmth that threatened to take over his whole face. He couldn't blush, not in front of his brothers of the Watch.

"I cannot go see her, Sam."

"Not now, since we are headed north, but maybe when you get back, you should ask the Lord Commander for a license to leave. It will do you some good, Jon."

"No, it will do me worse, Sam. If I find her the way I left her, I won't have the strength to come back. I can't be a deserter now. Not because of a woman."

Sam felt sympathy for his friend. He wouldn't like to leave, had him had back home someone waiting for him.

"Would you tell me more about her, Jon? Maybe I can help you."

Jon sighed and looked at Ghost. The wolf, suddenly aware of his stare, looked back at him with intensity. Jon thought that was his way of saying he should agree with the proposal.

"Okay, Sam. When we stop to rest, I will tell you about her."

Sam nodded and went back to his position at the end of the retinue.

With grief maculating his eyes, Jon stared once more at the enormous amount of snow ahead on their way. That was just depressing.

After some days of non-stopping walk, all Jon had seen was snow and trees. Some houses here and there, but they were all abandoned by their owners. The whole place seemed sad and hunted, not at all like the beloved town where he had grown up with his brothers and sisters… and their cousin.

He never thought he would be glad to see Craster's home. If it meant they would stop wandering that forsaken place, it seemed good enough. After he had taken care of all his duties, he headed for the camping part where he knew he would find Sam.

"So…" he started, trying the hardest to get comfortable on the hard snow covered ground. "Where do you want me to begin?"

Sam smiled, sitting next to him. There was nothing he enjoyed more than a good story.

"Wherever you like."

Jon sighed.

"Faeleen is a bastard child, just like me. She is the daughter of Brandon Stark and a southern lady that never took interest on her. She came to Winterfell along with me, although she was born some months prior. We grew up together as the Stark bastards, the Snows among Lady Catelyn's legitimate heirs. She was the only one that could truly understand me."

"_Lady Stark is coming to get Robb, we should probably get inside before she sees us." A small Faeleen whispered on his ear._

_Jon nodded and followed her inside._

"_It's unfair that she likes you." He grimaced_

_Faeleen laughed._

"_She doesn't like me. She just bears me more easily because I'm not the __illegitimate__ daughter of the man she is married with."_

"_No, but your father was her fiancé when he had you."_

_She shrugged._

"_Apparently she doesn't care much about that."_

"_You're too lucky."_

_With no warn, she hugged him._

"_It's all right, I'm here, am I not?"_

"Life on Winterfell definitely wouldn't be the same without her." He admitted. "I don't think I would be able to put up with Lady Stark had she not been there to aid me."

"_Happy twelfth day of your name, Faeleen." He wished her with a smile on his lips._

_Her response, however, was faint._

"_Thank you, Jon."_

"_Something wrong? If I remember correctly you always made me do all sort of things for you as a gift. What happened to the enthusiastic girl I have known all this years?"_

_She tried to smile, but she just couldn't. He was the one person she would never be able to lie to._

"_Lady Catelyn is trying to arrange my wedding."_

_The piece of news caught Jon by surprise._

"_Already? I thought you had a couple of years more to worry about this."_

"_Apparently, just because I bled last year, I should already be married. I don't want to marry some creepy old lord. I want to stay."_

_She was on the verge of tears, and he hated when she cried._

"_Half a Stark is better than none. For a small lord, at least."_

"_I don't want to marry a lord, Jon!"_

"_You rather end up as Sansa's maid?"_

_At that point, she was already crying freely._

"_You never noticed, did you?"_

_With that, she left him behind, completely clueless of why she was suddenly so mad at him._

"I guess… I should have noticed earlier. Before she did that stupidity on my last day on Winterfell. But I was blind. I loved her, but I knew she would never be mine. Not on Lady Catelyn's watch. Not when she could actually be married with someone important."

"What did she do on your last day, Jon?" Sam asked carefully.

"On my last night, there was a masquerade in honour of Queen Cersei. Faeleen took the opportunity to hide behind a mask and convince me to…" he hesitated for a minute. "To take her to my bed. I guess, deep down I knew it was her, or, at least, I wanted it to be her. But it was a mistake. The worst mistake I could ever have made. She asked me to run away with her, but I refused. For the honour of our fathers' House."

Sam was quiet for a long moment before saying something.

"She must be devastated. You really should go see her, Jon, if we ever leave this horrible place. It was not a good way to say goodbye."

"No, it wasn't. But there was no other way, Sam. I gave my word that I would join the Watch, and she was supposed to marry some unknown lord. Lady Stark would never let us do otherwise."

"Still. It wasn't the best way to leave her, Jon. You are having nightmares. What can possibly be going on with her?"

Jon didn't want to even think about it. He would rather think she was fine, getting ready for her wedding to start a new life in a place she would have no memories of him. However, once his eyes found Ghost, a new set of memories invaded him.

"_I can't believe you found a dire-wolf's puppies on the Summer Snow!" Faeleen shouted once she had a small Ghost on her arms._

"_I'm sorry there wasn't any for you, Fae." Jon apologized, feeling a little embarrassed for not giving Ghost to her in the first place._

"_Are you kidding me? It's alright! I'm not a daughter of Lord Eddard. Besides, now I get to raise Ghost with you!"_

And there was no one Ghost loved more than her. Sometimes, Jon even thought the wolf liked her better than him.

Yes, he had done all wrong, but now it was too late. He was too far away from her, on the north side of the Wall. He couldn't reach her anymore. There was nothing he could do now for the both of them. He had made a vow, and she had probably already made one to her husband. Their fate was to be apart. There was no changing that now.


End file.
